Hi Jillian Ann, thank you for doing this interview, how are you doing?
Amazing Thank you
Who is Jillian Ann?
It Depends on the day :)
What made you decide to become a musician, was it a special song, a concert, a video?
Music inspired me there was hope, another world, a place where dreams could become reality, It was my life line in a pretty dark time and kept me alive. Many inspired me I have many muses living and dead. But not one in particular my inspirations run from the poets from the 15th century to modern acts such as massive attack, NIN, Tori Amos, and many others.
Do you have any rolemodels or people that really inspire you?
My role models are people who are often not famous the people who inspire me are those that fight with their actions and life for the evolution of humanity be it through art or service through creations or helping others.
My role models are those who take a stand, who believe in something, who fight for humanity for nature, who do all they can to heal rather then harm. When I see love in action it inspire me. In any form .
Besides a musician you are also a model and actress, what is the resemblance for you in those things? What is it that you like doing this all?
I have been working with the evolution of art in multi media format which means from writing songs to being in front of a camera to producing and art directing. Modeling and acting has opened doors for me which have lead to the further evolution and education . As a artist I want to be able to channel the dream through in such a way it is seen and heard. Modeling and acting opened doors into photography, music and film, my body and voice are a canvas.
On your website you write that you spend your time in a constant process of transformation. Can you explain this, what personal and musical grow did you have over the years?
As a artist being real was important, not just a girl who sings songs others write, my life experience is also the starting point for where I can take my art. To grow musically I believe I have to grow spiritually, and so this constant transformation has always been about growth as a artist, a writing, a being. I have learned so much about myself and the world around me which has altered what I do and how I do it musically and it is always evolving and changing . I cannot define it into one thing, it is many things all the time which as taught me in the end all of it comes from within. Experiences just give me more stories to share. More depth to pull from.
When you compare your first album “The Fallen” to your new one “Confess”, what are the biggest changes according yourself?
Its a different era , " The Fallen" was induced by a life lived in the rave scene, in a world in which the changes were happening rapidly, when writing The Fallen I was working with David Kirby it was electronica we were teenagers and using a old PC. Now I am working with Bruce Somers, I have better toys to play with, I played hundreds of shows, and by doing that I learned so much. Confess is my coming into my own song, after years of working hard to get there, on my own so it was real. The lyrics the message the song are all from the heart. The music came over time to a place where at last after years I felt it was finished… Its a intuitive thing with me and music, it just happens and when it feels right its there. That can be a day or a year in the making but I can feel it. Changes so many, personal spiritual, creative. Once I was a little girl who felt pretty lost, I don't feel lost, anymore, I think that comes across under the music.
How do you create your songs, do you always work the same way?
They find me, then I have to bring them over, they come in dreams on walks alone usually in silence, in stillness, and then I take them as far as I can alone, production, programming recording . After I take them to someone like Bruce or Bruce to help me do what I can't do " like play the drums" and then I just keep working with it till it feels finished and then its done. There is no real process its all a bit magical .
How did you get in contact with producer Bruce Somers (co-founder of kidneythieves) and what influence did he have on your sound?
My manager also manages him, I was a fan of his work when I was a teenager. One day my manager took me over to Bruce, and we played him a song and then from there it just clicked. I love his style and sound and he is great to work with he is great at pushing me and pulling the best out of me. I was seeking the addition of heavy sexy and dark when it came to bass, beats, and guitars and I don't play them so I had been seeking that for a long time. When I finally found it I was so happy because it was what I had been looking for creatively in another. Lots of people can make music in the box, I don't want that, I want music that isn't afraid to push the limits and break the mold a bit and he is amazing and pushing those limits and breaking some rules.
How would you describe your music yourself?
Darker Electronica
When going out, would you dance to your own songs or do you prefer another kind of music when clubbing?
I love all music but when out I am always seeking something new, so I tend to be on a mission to find the hottest new artist or producer so I can create with them or play there music in a DJ set. So usually others music.
The confess album contains of only one song “Confess” and a lot of remixes, why just one new song and put remixes on it for the rest. What was the thought behind it? Do you like remixes?
I am a huge fan of electronica, I also love to help expose genres and other types of music people may normally never find. I have lots of friends in the electronica world who like to remix my work, and I want to help expose people to new types of music. So I thought why not put out my version and then other versions I love, which may be more experimental , and why not bend the rules a bit. You can have a trance version for that world, a dub step version to play when you want to dance a little a ambient version for chill out time. Music fits a thousand emotions for me and so with a song, I feel they are gifts and if others want and or are inspired to create something out of it why not allow it. Why not let it expand and grow into something more then just "my vision". I love community and collectives and so with music I like making collections.
What is the song “Confess” about?
I wrote this its a really extensive personal blog on the song the video and all involved. Below is about the song in detail the blog has links and tons of information on the remixes.
http://jillianann.net/blog/news/confess-song-remixes-video-site
“Confess”
was inspired years ago, as I observed in others and ended up being the target of harsh judgments and condemnation over choices in sexuality and lifestyle. I grew up in Georgia, in a very religious home where I was told that having sex before marriage was evil, homosexuals and bisexuals were damned and basically that sex was evil and a corrupting influence. Looking back, it’s a good thing that most of the people who held these beliefs did not even suspect there were such things as transsexuals or gay couples with children or it would have made the average church goers apoplectic. I, and countless other children, were programmed to believe these things and it caused me to have a intense internal battles for years even as I went forth and met some pretty great people who were damned for all eternity.
Confess was written while I was living in New York. I remember that I was coming home from a weekend spent with my lover at the time, I was on the train and it was Sunday morning and I wrote the chorus first, then went home and wrote the rest of the song.
It was a moment of light piercing through all I had known, a moment of making a choice to live and love without regret, to love those I love despite them being a man or a woman, to love how I love, be it a way which some don’t understand and or accept. In a world where I feel religion has been used to suppress our own natural awareness and path and that has separated sexuality and spirituality as well as caused many to feel guilty or wrong about their natural selves. I wanted to stand for something else.
This song was my way of taking back something for myself, believing in something because it felt right in my heart and soul despite rules and limitations that were created by a bunch of dead men in order to keep me controlled and unaware or living in guilt and shame. Sexuality and spirituality are closely linked for me, but suppression and hypocrisy create a world in which the molesting of children, rape, and general sexual abuse happens all the time and are quietly swept under the covers. Meanwhile gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and those who prefer to play darker are demonized and labeled evil and told they are going to burn in hell forever. After years of struggling with this I came to understand that who I was and how I was and who my friends were was not evil or wrong. This is my response to all that tried to put me in a box, called me ‘wrong’ out of fear and programming. For me, love should not be limited, should never be deemed evil, to love someone to share your body, energy to explore different levels of trust and closeness is nothing but beautiful. It should come as no surprise that incidents of rape and domestic abuse are higher in the “bible belt” than anywhere else per capita. I personally experienced abuse and feel that in order for us to end the cycle, we have to let go of the idea that our own sexuality is evil, we should accept what is and ourselves and allow ourselves to love as we feel, guided and connected from within our hearts and spirits. The energy which leads to such tragic events as a child being raped, often comes from a deep suppression and fear created by ideas, this song is about another idea.. to love and live without regret, to love as we feel, regardless of what anyone told us, for that is their perspective and their ideas and it doesn’t make it true.
The only truth I know is how to love and after making a choice to no longer live in guilt or fear because of something someone taught me because of an idea which when put under a razor didn’t hold up has lead me to this.. so this song is a reflection of making that choice to stand up for what I believe in when it comes to love and sexuality.
To Love without Regrets…..
This is what Confess is about.
When will there be a new album out filled with new songs, are you already working on that?
I am working on that. As a self funded independent artist in a time where many people think not buying music doesn't hurt the artist its a challenge. I am producing stuff on a high level out of my own blood sweat and tears. I am working as much as I can with the resources I have. Its challenging to know hundreds of thousands of copies of my music are downloaded illegally and I am not paid for any of it. Because if everyone bought it then I could make lots more , when its stolen it's challenging as a independent artist. But I am working as much as I can as quick as I can to finish a record, videos and remixes of course . I am planning on releasing a few more singles before the record comes out. I want to say spring but it depends on many things but soon.
The video of Confess is amazing, what can you tell us about the shooting of it?
Of Course www.youtube.com
My partner in crime wrote an amazing behind the video piece he may have said it all better than me;) but below is my versionIt all started through an email, as most of my life does in one way or another. I got an email from a photographer in Chicago who really wanted to shoot me. I loved his work, he loved mine, it was a perfect connection. Billy soon became one of my best friends and one of my favorite photographers to work with, (billysheahan) he pushed me I pushed him, his home was always a cocoon, I always grew he offered me a place to create and express myself fully.
It always made for amazing pictures and a deep friendship. We both continued to evolve with our fascination with imagery and we both started to get into film and moving pictures. With the Canon D5 I saw a world of possibilities open up, and one day the light bulb went off, ” we can make a video look like a picture” with the filters and the same lighting that he used to make amazing art with me and if we could make it move then it would be epic. We did a little spot for fun.
I loved how it turned out and it gave me lots of ideas,My manager was going to Midem and wanted to take some of my work with him, I wanted a video to go with the song. My dream is to have an amazing video for each song, all moving works of art. Being independent and funding this all on my own meant I was working with both limited time and very limited funds, I emailed Billy the song, which was not finished yet but telling him I thought we could make a video in the next few weeks and have it done in time for Midem. This happened during the holidays, in the winter, shooting in Chicago, details that I didn’t factor in, I just knew we had to do it and do it now, without a budget, without anything other than our creative energy and imagination. I reached out to Chelsey Usher my old roommate from New York who happens to be one amazing stylist who also happened to have moved to Chicago and asked her if she would be willing to give up her holiday weekend to make some art. She was down and not only did she rock on hair and makeup and styling she also let us use her home for shooting, the shower scene, comes from her shower ,she was sick and worked despite being ill, long days long hours she was amazing.
Once I knew we were going to shoot I contacted my friends at S&G clothing (sandgclothing) to see if I could pull clothing from them, I love the clothing they create and it is earth friendly, I love the values they have and their work ethic. I wanted to feature their designs in the video. The clothing really played a role in the video, after spending years in the modeling industry I like to work with and support designers who not only make amazing clothing but also try to be aware of how their work effects the planet and the culture. I love their work and support them not only because they are amazing people, amazing designers but because they are aware of what they do and how they do it. I needed my counter part, casting is always complex for me, I tend to work with people I know or friends of friends, finding someone to play my counter part, my mirror wasn’t as hard as I thought, I had a few in mind but ended up going with Rachael Weathers after she was sent to me through other photographers who told me I had a twin. She was a pleasure to work with, performed wonderfully and was super sweet and helpful on set.
The day before we were going to shoot I found out I had lost my Piano Location, I had met Deborah Vogt at a trunk show in Los Angeles the same week. While we were talking she told me she had just moved from Chicago and had been involved with a large artist community there, she currently runs Dialect Gallery in Downtown LA ( downtowndialect) once I realized we didn’t have a location I called her asking if she knew of anywhere with a cool setting and a piano . She was so kind and gave me names and numbers of people to call, now let’s just reflect, this is someone I met a week before and I am calling to find a piano with no real budget and she hands over contacts as if we had known each other for years. When people are so kind and generous it gives me hope in humanity and in the further creation of a better world through our little actions. The next thing i know I am on the phone with Max Glascott of Catalyst Chicago (www.myspace.com ) Max was amazing he invited us over to look at the space. Once arriving I was in heaven, in fact I didn’t want to leave, studios, piano, kitchen a huge making art living life space that was not only a perfect set but the vibe was amazing. Max was super sweet and I hope we get to continue to create together, they were so kind and gave us full run of the space to work on the video. It was an space full of great things to build sets on the fly with. They made us coffee and were nothing but supportive. Shooting there was epic and fun, it ended up being so much fun I don’t think any of us wanted to leave. Max ended up doing a remix for Confess which I really love, (http://soundcloud.com/jillianann/confess-the-abominable-twitch-seven-year-plan) I hope to do some more music with him or go stay at Catalyst again and create even more beautiful things. Once we had all the pieces in place, Billy Rachael and I all sat down and went over my vision, we all put in our ideas, Chelsey came up with some as well, I like to work with people like that, I don’t know or see everything I may have a vision but I was working with people who all saw things I didn’t see but really helped contribute. My manager sent Jean us some inspiration and we plotted how to pull it all off in two days of shooting in the cold and snowy Chicago winter. The next thing I knew we were shooting, all of us working together, it was really beautiful for me, for years it has been my dream to create music on this level and then to create visual art to match. I have spent my life learning all of them so I could fuse them one day. The team I put together are all people I feel are amazingly talented and some of the nicest most creative people I have ever met which are the kind of people I love to create with. Shooting was so much fun, even though we were all under the gun and working around the clock the love and support made it so much fun. I was sad when it was over, and when we all had to go back to our own worlds.
I didn’t want to go, but once home Billy and I and Jean were all in close contact through the editing process, editing is such a vital part to the video, as an artist its one of the most important parts to me, I have found I like to be really involved, Billy and I went back and forth, exchanging ideas, he sent me rough drafts I would come back with ideas, at one point I went through and watched everything we shot and time coded all the parts I liked the most. Once Billy Jean and I were happy with a edit then it went to Kelly Armstrong (colorplayground), who added magic through creating beautiful color pallets to bring the colors out even more. As it really came together I was growing even more excited, I wanted to create a beautiful art pieces to express something that has often been left in the dark and or perceived as cheap, naughty, dark, bad, For me being an artist who likes to play with limitations and explore many aspects of life and sexuality I wanted to create something which showed the beauty of such things. I hope I succeeded in some way.
“Confess” music video by Jillian Ann
Directed, Photographed & Edited by Billy Sheahan
Featuring Rachael Weathers
“Confess” written and performed by Jillian Ann with Bruce Somers, Producer, Composer, Engineer
Hair/Makeup and styling by Chelsy Usher
Color Correction by Kelly Armstrong
Assistant Director & Visual FX, Katrina Nelken
Wardrobe by S&G Clothing
You seem to live like a gypsy, constant travelling, do you ever miss a good home base of do you still have that?
I live in Los Angeles, Alone in a loft artist space. Its home its cozy, its quiet . But I am gone more then here. I carry my home on my back , it is always with me. I have adapted I always carry special magical things with me to remind me of home. When I am away my home is everywhere.
What can people expect of a Jillian Ann live concert, do you have a live band to back you up?
Shows change based on the venue at the moment, I am always there, and always pour all of myself into a show. I am looking to expand but for me the music is the most important, and it being real and then the rest I can play with. Costumes, how many people, lights and so on . My show is a bit like all my art its always transforming.
What will be next for you?
You may just have to watch and find out...
Any last words for the readers?
Never forget or give up on your dreams
Hold them close and fight for them
The power comes from within
:)
and you can find me here
Follow the white rabbit :)
http://www.JillianAnn.com
http://www.jillianann.com
http://jillianann.bandcamp.com
http://www.itunes.com/JillianAnn
http://www.Facebook.com/JillianAnn3
http://www.reverbnation.com/JillianAnn
http://www.soundcloud.com/jillianann
http://www.myspace.com/jillianann33
http://www.twitter.com/jillianann