Who is Kimberly?
I have no real idea, and yet I do. A million different pieces and emotions make up what is known as Kimberly. I despise Kimberly sometimes, and then again sometimes I admire her. She is all emotion, in life, not always a good thing. For music, an excellent thing. I am talking about myself as if I am talking about someone else, but for this question you ask, I must step outside. When you ask that question basically the answer is in a vision, a moment. There is a girl years and years ago, filled with hope, love and dreams. Life snuffed a lot of that out, but music has been the salvation. I have learned to live by and for my dream, even if it sometimes fails me, even If many times I fall, even if most of the time most of the world just does not understand, it's my dream and it belongs to me. Kimberly is a dreamer that believes in living impossible dreams, and maybe through constant dedication, maybe learning that it was not so impossible. I am only a song. I am really that bug in our logo. Something so small and unnoticed that could be so easily crushed, and yet just keep fighting to survive.
To what music did you listen as a kid and do you still listen to it?
I loved Tori Amos and still do. Loved Depeche Mode, and still do. The cure all that kind of stuff. As I got older I really got into Assemblage 23, vnv nation, apop. Anything electronic that makes you want to dance and yet has enough to say to fill your soul.
What is music for you personally?
The air I breathe.
You are the singer of Bow Ever Down, can you give a brief introduction to the band and its members?
The only constant in B.E.D has been me. I have seen more people come and go then I even care to remember, which has been a huge problem with moving onward. This project had great things going on about 5 years ago, my partner left at a critical time, and it was really hard for me to overcome that. However, this project is certainly not nor can be done by me alone. I simply create the bass lines, lyrics and vocals. I have a huge amount of help with all the fancy programming from Dustin O'connor. Nick from Hitman studios and Hitman records makes most of B.E.D possible with everything from production, to mastering, to funding the limited edition Cd "risen" that we are currently selling. I would have to say that this is the best sound production this project has ever had. So yeah, mass amounts of B.E.D is possible because of him.
How did you deal with all these setbacks and departing members, is the dream of making it so strong, where do you get the energy from?
I just have this overwhelming feeling that I won't be able to live with myself if I let set backs stop me. Everything in life has set backs. Nothing worth while is ever easy. Harder for some then others sure, but trouble always comes with dreams. I am often jealous of bands that have been together from the start, although I am sure that comes with its own set of problems. All I can say is that this road is not easy and it's not for the weak of spirit. It's a lot of sacrifice, and not all share the same dream. Energy comes from wanting. From desire. When great things happen, you just hold onto the energy from that moment. I am getting by from the energy from Draculas Ball at the moment. That was just way too amazing ;)
How did you come up with the name "Bow Ever Down" and does it have special meaning for you?
Around 10 years ago or so, when this project first started, someone just mouthed those words. I have no idea how those words formed in their brain or what it even meant to them if anything, but for me it was a description very suited for me. A lot of people take it as I am saying Bow Down to me or something. Actually it is me that feels like I am bowing down to everything, including life, but there is always the hope that one day It could be the other way around. The name sounds like the two sides of me
You label your music as E.M.D., what is this and what bands do you consider to make E.M.D. as well?
E.D.M (emotional dance music) The reason I put it this way, is because there are so many silly labels on everything, and so with my music how it is, with so many different influences using anything like synthpop, industrial, futurepop, IDM, on and on and on (lol, labels are so silly) but anyway it's an argument waiting to happen. I will have hard industrial fans wanting to stomp me for that, and although there is some of all that in my music including some trance elements, it just does not seem to fit in any one particular label. I thought I made it up, but I actually have seen that floating around recently. It is actually what everyone is doing when you really think about it. I am greatly inspired by vnv nation and assemblage 23, which I have seen called everything from EBM to futurepop. To me it is a label without being a label. Saying it that way, gives more room to grow and experiment. ;)
Your music has changed a lot over the years, from a darker sounds to a more positive sound these days, how did this happen?
ha ha ha ha ha. The difference is crazy actually. One reason is the loss of my partner Frank, who provided that dark more industrial programming and the famous screaming. However, I also wrote a lot darker. I was in a dark place. A place of a lot of anger. I have not left that place, only made peace with it, and realized that if we focus too much on that place, it certainly will destroy us. I try to be in the dark, with a little light shining in these days. I don't try to sing like Life is easy and amazing. lol. I just kind of am saying that life is pain, it is suffering, it is a fight, but is it not worth it. Rise or die was the name of my EP when I re-emerged last year, and I think that title sums it up best. Having a little girl, of course played a big part in bringing some light in.
What do you think, should people embrace their darker sides to be a complete person? What is a hard process for you do this?
If people have been lucky enough to just bask in the light, then I say just stay there. For some we have no choice. So instead of letting it tare you down and break you, gather strength from it. I am pretty crazy. I fight with the darkness and pain like it's a human. I yell at it. I say to it, "come on try again" "try harder!!!" LOL. I break all the time, but when I come back, I come back stronger. Your complete if you feel complete. Everyone knows deep inside if they are complete or not. I am sure it's a peace within yourself, although I don't know that I will ever know that.
Did this way of thinking affect your personal life as well?
My personal life has always suffered. It still does, only now I am more at peace with it. I am a little more at peace with myself (most of the time anyway) I am just not as hateful and evil.
You have released "Risen" what can you tell us about this release, how did the recordings go and what difficulties did you have to overcome?
Risen was actually a spin off of the EP Rise or Die with some extra tracks included. It was made as a limited edition cd for the line of shows we had recently. Something special we put out for the fans, that won't be re-made so only a few people will ever have it. Studio Time always goes pretty smooth, it's just the money that is always hard to come by, so it always takes a longer time then I would like, but the production is amazing. I must say I don't like the studio too much though. I am certainly A live performer. The stage is really where I love to be.
How are the comments on "Risen" so far?
My fans are different then they used to be. A lot different. That goes with the fact that the music has done a 190. I must say I like this new group of fans. More open to different things, and light in the darkness just like the new music. I hear a lot of things, but what I really cling to is when something I said in a song, gets someone through dark times. That maybe they were hanging by a thread and something I said got them through. That scares me because I think to myself, what would have happened to them if they were listening to that old stuff all night long. It is then I realize that what we say to the world is really important. We don't have to sugar coat the pain. I will never do that. I will never lie to people. Life does hurt, but at the same time, we have to find something to cling to. I am haunted by what I may have made people feel in the past, what my music may have done. Music is a very powerful thing, and what I did was dangerous. It was as if I were going down, and I was taking them with me. There is such a thing as Karma, and that could have been the reason for my fall. I know that I will always be very careful what I put out there. I tell myself daily, "see the light kimberly" lol. I am not going to claim there is not darkness in my music, but there sure is a lot more hope in it these days.
Is there a special track, that got you through rough times, which track was this?
Tracks that got me through the rough times? Most of my times are rough lol. Well I will name other peoples tracks and then some of my own, where writing the track got me through. Anything, and I mean anything from assemblage 23. I really do love Tom. I feel the same way about vnv and Depeche Mode. I will say clean from DM really does something for me. Black celebration also. If It is anger and rage I need to feel, there is always my future husband Rudy from Wumpscut. LOL. As far as my songs, writing Believe and Embrace the Darkness helped to get me through. I try not to listen to my own music too much. I like to go back with fresh ears and listen from time to time.
On youtube there are several live videos of Bow Ever Down, in my opinion you made a huge progress, what is the biggest progress you made according yourself?
I just know that the girl you saw there was very very very angry. I just grew the way we all do when we stick with the dream. I was very young there, and I still had a lot to learn. I do love watching it though because you can see that determination that says, I am just going to keep going, and no one is going to stop me. I had a lot of growing up to do though. That determination was there though, and that is what really matters. With determination we learn and grow.
How do you prepare before a live show, and what does a stage do for you, you seem to be a different woman?
I just let all the emotions consume me. I think of where I was, and all the times I have fallen and the struggles. I just myself go nuts for a bit and then I center myself and it's like I take all that emotion and this huge focus comes over me, and then I don't really remember, because there is a transformation so huge that it's another person. It's me, just the better me. The more confident me. I love the stage because I get to trade energy with the crowd, and sneak my music in their soul and they can sneak some of their soul back into me. It is pure magic. I am on fire up there. It's just home for me. It's where I belong.
At the moment it seems everything is going the right way for Bow Ever Down, can you tell our readers what they can expect in the near future?
I hope it's' going the right way lol. I can only play the part I play. That part is to dream, to work, to fight, to stand up on my feet again and again and again no matter what. The main focus is to rise, it always has been. I will always strive for more because it's who I am, but in the very end, what really matters is that I lived my dream, never sat down and died. It's not about money or fame for me. It's about continuing to do what I love, and what helps keep my soul alive. It is about proving that we can Rise, if we believe, and work long enough. Those may be the words of a fool, but so be it, I will play the role of fool. If you lose all hope, then the question becomes, why live??? That is pretty scary.
Any last words for the readers?
There is a darkness that will always surround you. Pain will always be close by. There is a light however, underneath it all that comes to visit sometimes. Embrace the Darkness, but don't let it consume you. That will eventually destroy you. The most important words, are to live your dream. There is no real measure for success. In the end if you never gave up, then you have succeeded.
www.boweverdown.net